I know there is a force within me that lures me toward the light and yet there is a competing force that would keep me bound to darkness.
When I am choosing to be in a state of fear, uncertainty or self-doubt, I am allowing the darkness to remain present.
In order to get out of this fearful state, I need to ask the Universe to dissolve these unnecessary fears and then trust that the darkness will fall away.
It’s hard to tell sometimes when I am in a deep depression or if I am in a state of fear due to my own negative perception of what is happening in my life.
I understand that fear is a choice we make, but I also understand that depression is not a choice.
I feel as though I judge myself harshly when a depressive state comes on because I feel as though I must have some choice and then I fear that I am manifesting dark things my way because everywhere you read, what you think becomes your reality and that can’t be so with the disease of depression.
All I can do is try my best to walk through the dark abyss, the self-limiting beliefs that are haunting my mind and keeping me from living my life to the fullest.
I want to live in the sunlight of the spirit every single day and I know that is not possible.
When one needs to fight the thoughts in their minds on a daily basis just to keep going and showing up in the world, it’s easy to become tired and weary and filled with fear.
When darkness falls I must always keep my thoughts on the light that I know is there even if I can’t see it at the moment.
The moments in the light are fleeting, wonderful and beautiful and yet don’t last long enough.
My prayer is one day I may experience more of life in those moments than in the fearful state of darkness that seems to follow me like a dark cloud.
I am blessed because I know light. I am blessed because I know that the darkness fades and for that I keep the Faith that all will be okay no matter what my mind tries to make me think.
Love and Light xo