Today is graduation day for my ‘baby’, my youngest son. He graduated from 6th grade and this is bringing all the feels up to the surface today.

When I saw him walk in at the commencement looking so tall and grown up, I had flashbacks to his preschool graduation when he proudly said into the microphone, “Hi, I’m Cooper and I’m 4 and a half!”

I remembered all the school pick ups when he would see me from across the yard and run as fast as he could into my arms. I remember him wanting me to carry him everywhere we went and if anyone asked if they could hold him he would firmly state, “No! only Mama.”

“It goes fast” they say, “Enjoy every moment” they say….but what they don’t say is how heartbreaking and difficult it is to let go.

Let go of their youth, their favorite stuffed animals they could not go sleep without, the cuddles, the cute notes they make in school, their little voices calling you Mommy.

I know this is normal, the transitions, the necessary detachment but wow is it hard.

Cooper has this smile that can light up an entire room. He’s always been the little guy, the little brother, the one who would accompany his Dad and I to his older brother’s baseball games and school functions.

I think one of the hardest parts is knowing that it’s all different from here.

As a Mom I have had practice letting go, giving them their space to grow and navigate their own paths. I think the toughest part is learning to love them differently as they mature but in your eyes they are still just little boys.

As I celebrate Cooper today I know it’s just as important to allow myself to grieve.

As he says goodbye to 6th grade, I say goodbye the sweet little guy entering middle school that I had the pleasure of raising to this point. I feel gratitude for each and every small moment that will forever remain in my heart.