Waiting For The Storm To Pass

One would think after so many years of weathering the storm of depression it would become less scary to fall into the deep, dark abyss….but it’s not. When the lows last for more than a couple days, the pain becomes so debilitating and heavy you fear that it’s never going to go away. You look outside at […]

Rebuilding Self Worth With Depression

Today my depression reared it’s ugly head and all I wanted to do was disappear. It was one of those days where my brain turned on me and an ugly truth came to the surface. The downward spiral came around quick much like a torrential rainfall that turns into a terrible storm. I couldn’t move. […]

Goals And New Years Resolutions When You Suffer From Depression

It’s that time of year when all the magazines and posts on social media talk about “Be Who You Want To Be”, “Now Is Your Time to Shine, “This is YOUR Breakout Year, ”and the list goes on. I would read these articles about making lofty goals, being the best me, making a million dollars, […]

Tolerating The Pain Of Emptiness: The Passage That Started My Spiritual Journey

It was a cold, rainy and dreary day in San Francisco. The weather outside matched exactly how I felt on the inside, miserable. I was at an emotional, physical and spiritual rock bottom and I saw no end to this state of being in sight. I was hopeless and seemingly powerless to the life I […]

Trusting Life’s Roadblocks

Powerless at the Ocean.. Tonight I decided to take a solo trip out to Santa Cruz and stay at a hotel room on the beach to find out where I am at my deepest emotional level. The beach is where I am reminded that I am powerless over a lot of things in my life […]

When The Dark Consumes You

It happened again. I fell down that same familiar dark hole and there was no light in sight. It was one of those days where the pain is so intense it sears through my heart, into my chest, down to my stomach and my body becomes numb with fear. I have been here before but […]

Sometimes The Most Beautiful Things Can Grow In The Dark

This week is Mental Illness Awareness Week and I came across this quote today which made me feel compelled to write. It reminds me that even though my world feels dark, scary and lonely when my depression comes on, that does not mean there is not something beautiful and light still present in my heart. When my mind […]